Lately I've been throwing a lot of pity parties for myself. Things are changing: my roommate is getting married, I'm engaged, I'm moving, two of my favorite people in Guatemala are leaving this weekend to the United States with another one to follow shortly, and it's hard for me to deal with all of that at once. Life just started to settle into a routine and it's going to change significantly within the next month.
This morning at the breakfast to say goodbye to Meredith, one of the interns who is leaving this weekend, I teared up a little bit thinking about it. I treasured those tears, lanning to construct a really crabby day out of them. I came back to the office, sat at my desk and let myself get sad and nostaligic about missing graduation, saying goodbye to friends and not being around the people I love most and who love me back. It's been hard lately.
I was all set for another bad day. And then:
I got to talk to one of my dearest friends on gchat. It's been hit and miss communicating with him lately, as he's been finishing school and getting ready to start Teach For America next month. We had a lot of classes together over the past 3 years and I know no matter what he will always, always be there for me (and the conversation will be amazingly fun, as well). I'm hoping for a visit this fall.
As soon as I finished that conversation, Meredith came back from the grocery store with a beautiful hydrangea plant - my love plant. It's been sitting on my desk all day making me happy, both because of its brilliant blue color and because I LOVE that Mer brought it to me. I promise not to kill it.
To increase the loveliness of the day, I got an email from Jessica, two letters in the mail (both amazing, and one of TEN pages) and was able to chat with my prayer partner in DC on the phone.
Add one long conversation about faith with Jenny to that mix, carrot cake cupcakes, and the tearful day was turned upside down.
5.20.2009
Warning: the following is a pretty boring recap of my recent activities. Read at your own risk.
In case I had forgotten how different my life in Guatemala is from normal life, today when I exited my downtown office on a mission to buy a coke, I literally ran into a goat. She and her flock were being herded down the street alongside the taxis.
Other than that little incident, everything has been quite calm. Last night Jo and I went to a bookstore to drink a smoothie and hot chocolate, respectively, and I gave in to the ever-present urge to buy one more book to add to my collection (in English, though, so there's a higher chance I'll actually read it). Work is work - I like it but it can get slow some days. Tomorrow starts wedding shower season for my roommate- three showers in three days, should be fun.
I find myself alone a lot lately, which actually quite suits my mildly antisocial self (INFJ, in case you were wondering). I've been using the time for some light wedding planning and a little bit of moping - I'm sad I'm not home to revel in the post-engagement excitement, and I miss my mom.
Colin told me I had to pull it together one particularly whiny day, so I decided to make blackberry scones - one of the best ideas I've had in a long time. I'm not sure if it was because I've been deprived of baked goods for so long that I forgot how delicious they are, or if the fresh blackberries we bought at the dark, mildy dirty and pretty damp market the other week were so fresh and wonderful, or if the recipe I googled was exceptionally well put together, but they were the best scones I've had in recent memory. I think I ate four within the first hour.
Ok, off to read that new Updike book I bought before getting my typical nine hours of sleep. This weekend promises to be excited and packed with possible blog entries. Hold your breath.
Other than that little incident, everything has been quite calm. Last night Jo and I went to a bookstore to drink a smoothie and hot chocolate, respectively, and I gave in to the ever-present urge to buy one more book to add to my collection (in English, though, so there's a higher chance I'll actually read it). Work is work - I like it but it can get slow some days. Tomorrow starts wedding shower season for my roommate- three showers in three days, should be fun.
I find myself alone a lot lately, which actually quite suits my mildly antisocial self (INFJ, in case you were wondering). I've been using the time for some light wedding planning and a little bit of moping - I'm sad I'm not home to revel in the post-engagement excitement, and I miss my mom.
Colin told me I had to pull it together one particularly whiny day, so I decided to make blackberry scones - one of the best ideas I've had in a long time. I'm not sure if it was because I've been deprived of baked goods for so long that I forgot how delicious they are, or if the fresh blackberries we bought at the dark, mildy dirty and pretty damp market the other week were so fresh and wonderful, or if the recipe I googled was exceptionally well put together, but they were the best scones I've had in recent memory. I think I ate four within the first hour.
Ok, off to read that new Updike book I bought before getting my typical nine hours of sleep. This weekend promises to be excited and packed with possible blog entries. Hold your breath.
5.15.2009
The West Wing
I have a faint recollection of my mom and dad watching the West Wing when I was younger – I remember watching parts of it with them occasionally, not understanding anything, but still thinking that Charlie was one of the cutest people I’d ever seen on TV.
I sort of forgot the show existed until last spring, when I was in DC at training week for my spring semester internship. There I met this Aussie girl, complete with vegemite (no joke) and a lovely demeanor. She was heading to Guatemala for a year and I thought she was so cool in her stylish brown suit and Sydney accent.
One of the things that made me think she was ridiculously cool was this thing she had going on with one of her friends who was living in a different country at the time. They both had Polaroid cameras, and as a way to keep in touch the took Polaroids and sent them to each other regularly along with descriptions of what the photos contained.
On one of the last days of training week, I happened to be around when this girl asked several people (including me) to pose at the front desk of the NGO we work for so someone could take a Polaroid of us for her to send to her friend. She told us to look very serious and important, because she wanted it to look like we were in The West Wing because she and her friend really liked that show.
So ever since then, the few times I’ve thought about that television show, I’ve thought of Jo.
These past few weeks, my lovely, vegemite-toting, Polaroid-taking Aussie roommate and I have been watching Season One of West Wing on her laptop in our apartment here in Guatemala. It has a sort of complete feeling to it, like the world really is ordered and things do all fit together eventually.
Maybe to make the experience really complete, we can take a Polaroid of us lazing around on her bed watching CJ, Sam and the team kick butt.
I sort of forgot the show existed until last spring, when I was in DC at training week for my spring semester internship. There I met this Aussie girl, complete with vegemite (no joke) and a lovely demeanor. She was heading to Guatemala for a year and I thought she was so cool in her stylish brown suit and Sydney accent.
One of the things that made me think she was ridiculously cool was this thing she had going on with one of her friends who was living in a different country at the time. They both had Polaroid cameras, and as a way to keep in touch the took Polaroids and sent them to each other regularly along with descriptions of what the photos contained.
On one of the last days of training week, I happened to be around when this girl asked several people (including me) to pose at the front desk of the NGO we work for so someone could take a Polaroid of us for her to send to her friend. She told us to look very serious and important, because she wanted it to look like we were in The West Wing because she and her friend really liked that show.
So ever since then, the few times I’ve thought about that television show, I’ve thought of Jo.
These past few weeks, my lovely, vegemite-toting, Polaroid-taking Aussie roommate and I have been watching Season One of West Wing on her laptop in our apartment here in Guatemala. It has a sort of complete feeling to it, like the world really is ordered and things do all fit together eventually.
Maybe to make the experience really complete, we can take a Polaroid of us lazing around on her bed watching CJ, Sam and the team kick butt.
5.11.2009
Guatemala, land of lovers?
My boss here in Guate always makes jokes about how his office breeds engagements. It's true: three out of the four long-term interns last year are now engaged or married, including my roommate who is currently downstairs doing her premarital counseling homework.
Maybe it's the water. Maybe it's the bugs. Maybe our brains are modified by the daily 5 a.m. birthday fireworks. But marriage is quite the epidemic here in Guate, and I've caught the fever.
Colin came down to visit me last week. We toured around Guatemala, stopping at waterfalls, caves, lakes and rivers. We also paid a visit to Tikal, ancient Mayan ruins (I looove climbing ruins) where, on top of a pyramid, I asked my best friend to marry me.
He said yes.
Maybe it's the water. Maybe it's the bugs. Maybe our brains are modified by the daily 5 a.m. birthday fireworks. But marriage is quite the epidemic here in Guate, and I've caught the fever.
Colin came down to visit me last week. We toured around Guatemala, stopping at waterfalls, caves, lakes and rivers. We also paid a visit to Tikal, ancient Mayan ruins (I looove climbing ruins) where, on top of a pyramid, I asked my best friend to marry me.
He said yes.
4.25.2009
Here comes the rain.
Rainy season is coming. The past two days it's begun to sprinkle a bit in the afternoons, and my informants tell me this signals that daily showers can pretty much be expected from here on out. This was confirmed by my taxi driver today, who got a huge smile on his face when he needed to turn on the windshield wipers. He said he loves water so "winter" is his favorite part of the year; he gleefully told me it lasts until September.
I didn't take full advantage of the good weather while it was here. I tried to do a lot but there were plenty of Saturday mornings I slept in or wrote emails instead of enjoying my pool. As of now, my swimming count for the year is: one time. I tried to go today, but it's a little cold and while waiting for the sun to warm my up enough to go in, I fell asleep on the edge. I woke up a little later, freaked out a bit when I saw how close I was to the water, and went inside and fell asleep on the couch for two hours. Sorry Alex. (Alex was over to swim and I abandoned him for the nap; he must have sort of liked the idea because he is now sleeping on my bed.)
I also realized today that, like with the perfect sunny days, I didn't take full advantage of the newness of being here. I've stopped seeing things the way I did when I first got here; I'm used to it, as you may be able to tell by my drop off in blog posts. I have to look harder to see things than I did my first month here.
I've also noticed that I have to start working harder at friendship. There is definitely a grace period when you enter a new situation (especially something like moving to a new country) where making friendships and building them is easier. Unlike the tales from elementary school books, everyone is actually pretty nice to the new girl. They want you to feel comfortable and know you have friends even though it feels like you're starting out with no one.
But then you get used to being around each other, you run out of easy things to say, you run out of thoughtless things to do. Suddenly the amount of real investment you've put in the relationship stares you in the face and you realize that you have to try in order to progress. It's worth it, no doubt. You need people in your daily life who will get excited with you about lame thing just because you're excited. Who will stick around when you're not funny or even when you're grumpy and say things you don't mean to say, or did mean to say but in completely the wrong way. But it's not easy getting to that level. I'm really bad at it, actually.
Basically all this to say I miss my family and friends who will put up with me no matter what, and am very thankful for the grace I'm finding as I try to build a new support system here in Guatemala. More sunny days than rainy ones so far.
I didn't take full advantage of the good weather while it was here. I tried to do a lot but there were plenty of Saturday mornings I slept in or wrote emails instead of enjoying my pool. As of now, my swimming count for the year is: one time. I tried to go today, but it's a little cold and while waiting for the sun to warm my up enough to go in, I fell asleep on the edge. I woke up a little later, freaked out a bit when I saw how close I was to the water, and went inside and fell asleep on the couch for two hours. Sorry Alex. (Alex was over to swim and I abandoned him for the nap; he must have sort of liked the idea because he is now sleeping on my bed.)
I also realized today that, like with the perfect sunny days, I didn't take full advantage of the newness of being here. I've stopped seeing things the way I did when I first got here; I'm used to it, as you may be able to tell by my drop off in blog posts. I have to look harder to see things than I did my first month here.
I've also noticed that I have to start working harder at friendship. There is definitely a grace period when you enter a new situation (especially something like moving to a new country) where making friendships and building them is easier. Unlike the tales from elementary school books, everyone is actually pretty nice to the new girl. They want you to feel comfortable and know you have friends even though it feels like you're starting out with no one.
But then you get used to being around each other, you run out of easy things to say, you run out of thoughtless things to do. Suddenly the amount of real investment you've put in the relationship stares you in the face and you realize that you have to try in order to progress. It's worth it, no doubt. You need people in your daily life who will get excited with you about lame thing just because you're excited. Who will stick around when you're not funny or even when you're grumpy and say things you don't mean to say, or did mean to say but in completely the wrong way. But it's not easy getting to that level. I'm really bad at it, actually.
Basically all this to say I miss my family and friends who will put up with me no matter what, and am very thankful for the grace I'm finding as I try to build a new support system here in Guatemala. More sunny days than rainy ones so far.
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