here it comes

Sitting here trying to sort through the happenings of the past weeks, I realize why you don't wait over a month to update your blog. What is most important - coming home, spending time with family, seeing old friends, wedding planning? What's funniest - an hour-long "quiet game" among my siblings (involving fake marriage proposals over text messages in an attempt to induce exclamations)? A dead guinea pig lying in his cage on our front porch for days to wait out the snowstorm that made grave digging impossible?

I'm in Wisconsin now visiting my mom's family and hanging out with my grandparents. Last night was our big family Christmas party. Since my mom is the youngest of her brothers and sisters, I had years of being classified as one of the "little kids," even when the majority of that group was in high school and college. Not anymore. I'm not sure I noticed the complete takeover by the great-grandchildren until this year, but they are plenty, they are cute and they are loud.

My "I'm old" revelation helped me as I tried to wrap my head around the wedding shower my aunts and uncles threw me at the party. Judging the toilet paper wedding dress competition was easy enough - it was brimming with the familiar goofiness that my family is oh-so-good at. But opening presents of bakeware and tablecloths while everyone looked on hit me in the face one more time with the life that's coming. (I already have two black eyes and a bloody lip from the wedding planning that took place over the weekend.)

I'm so excited about everything that's coming up, but I don't think you can move home from a different country and find a whole new life waiting for you to plan it without a few oh-my-gosh-what-am-I-doing moments. Yes, I get overwhelmed. Yes, I escape by watching "Glee" online, getting really into a weird acapella singing competition on TV and dancing around the kitchen to Mariah with my awesome siblings.

But I also lay awake at night grinning as I think about all that will happen in the next year - so many firsts, relationships that will grow, life with my best friend. A new city to blog about! A graceful transition to aim for. It's coming, and I can't wait.